How to Take Control of Your Emotions

Your emotional capacity is linked to the amount of uncertainty you can handle at any one time. The ability to control your emotions and use logic to drive your decision-making is a valuable tool for any professional. Warren Buffet once said, “If you cannot control your emotions, you cannot control your money.”

Much of your capacity to handle uncertainty has to do with maturity. Maturity is often misconstrued as a matter of age but it’s entirely a matter of characteristics you employ. Immediate gratification mindset and not having a long-term perspective are linked to immaturity, and therefore a low emotional capacity. The good news is that you can exercise your emotional capacity to grow it and learn to handle increasingly uncertain situations. 

Physically Take Control:

The quickest and easiest way to control your emotions is by controlling your breathing when you feel a strong emotional reaction to something. Slowing down your breathing and inhaling deep, relaxing breaths will force your body to slow down your heart rate and calm your mind when it wants to panic. This is the best, first step for emotional control because it teaches you to control your mind by controlling your body first.

Spiritual Strength:

Most people find their identity in something beyond their control. It’s something eternal and unchanging. Most of the time, people get their identity by what is valued in society. For women, this could be their beauty, and for men, it could be their performance. This is a deeper topic than we can cover in this blog, but you may want to consider exploring where you obtain and retain your value from. Once you determine what you value most, determine if it is something beyond your control or if it’s something based on a superficial foundation. 

Mental Toughness: 

To get through short-term emotional storms, narrow your focus so you don’t get overwhelmed with the future. Sometimes all we have the capacity to handle is getting through the day, or the hour, instead of the end of the week or the end of the month. This allows you to stay present in the moment and give your mind a chance to tackle the task at hand and not let your emotions cause chaos. 

Becoming emotionally stable and taking control of your emotional intelligence can be very similar to becoming financially stable and taking control of your budget. If you’re trying to save up money to buy a house, it’s much easier to focus on achieving small goals and setting aside a certain amount each month rather than looking at your larger end goal and getting overwhelmed. (For more on budgeting, check out our 6 Budgeting Tips for Beginners here: )

It always helps to consciously think about your goals and the reasons driving your behavior. It may not be easy to start a business but remembering your reason for starting – to provide for your family, to use your creative energy, to help others – can help you get over the temporary, inevitable frustrations or disappointments that test your emotional capacity. In Navy Seal training, the most dangerous thought during hell week when soldiers encounter a level of discomfort or pain beyond what they expected, is something along the lines of, “I don’t think I can keep this up.” Those who narrow their focus to the task at hand and making it through each iteration rather than focusing on the long week ahead are typically the ones that make it through.

For More Tips on Emotional Resiliency, Watch Mark Divine’s Video on the Subject: