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Training on Confidence

What is Confidence?

  • Definition
    • A trust in yourself, that you can rely
    • A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities
  • The most important aspect of performance
  • Keeping promises to yourself and others

Stage 1: Borrow Confidence

  • Borrow confidence from your mentor. When you’re feeling low on confidence just think, what would your mentor do?
  • When answering questions:
    • Make it normal. Give short answers.
    • How long have you been in?
    • New person: “I’m just getting started. Launched my company. I’m in training.”
    • Veteran “over 5 years”
    • “How much money are you making it?”
      • Rude Question
      • Speak to the business mindset.  Confidence vs shame.
      • Greg: “I’m making enough to keep me interested”
      • Raul: “Over the next 18 months about $50 K”
    • “How many people do I need to sponsor?”
  • Key things to remember:
    • DON’T put your limits on someone else
    • Fake it until you become – act as if you are
    • Act as an arrow, walk as an arrow, dress as an arrow, talk, call

Step 2: Building Confidence

  • Focus on what you can control
  • Experience
  • Visualization to Create Experience
  • Work
    • “I’m willing to do what nobody else does.” –Tom Brady
    • Consistency
    • Full Calendar
  • Affirmations
  • Thought process – “out-think” everyone
  • Speech: Belief, you may not believe, I do

The Five Pillars of Success

From the Book The Perfect Day Formula by Craig Ballantyne

When you study success, you will notice that successful people follow a similar pattern to achieve a goal. We’re going to analyze that pattern by looking at the five pillars of success. If one or more of these pillars is missing, it will significantly decrease your chances of success.

Start and end with your personal responsibility – recognize that you and ONLY YOU are responsible for exactly where you are in life. Train yourself to bookend your day with good habits in the morning and evening.

Having the 5 pillars in your life provides you with behaviors to “conquer the chaos” in your life. The following list is a recipe that, when executed with discipline and determination, can help drive you to the top!

  1. Planning and Preparation
    • Before you start any task, prepare everything first (tools, set up rituals, etc)
    • Everything you do sets you up for success, or creates another obstacle
    • Eliminate the temptations that stand in your way
    • Attack early in the morning (fewest external distractions) and highest willpower
    • Identify and remove temptation, especially in the morning (different for each person, ex: office drama, negative news, naps)
    • Recognize what gets between you and your goals. What can you do to eliminate the distractions?
      • Happy hours after work? Create obligations after work so you aren’t tempted to go out.
      • Not fitting in a work out? Bring your clothes with you and don’t go home until you stop by the gym.
    • Tips:
      • Don’t check your e-mail until after the first hour of your day, or longer, until your most important tasks are complete.
      • Planning on the front end, saves you time on the back end (meeting prep, meal prep, errand prep)
      • Planning sometimes requires more elimination than preparation – (not taking phone calls during designated times, social media boundaries, etc.)
  2. Professional Accountability
    • Everyone needs the power of a pro
    • We all need a coach – even the best at the pinnacle of performance in sports or the arts
    • Make sure they are experts in what you are asking them to coach you through – don’t hire a chubby trainer!
    • A professional mentor/coach/instructor teaches us what to do and holds us accountable
    • Expert feedback creates better decision-making skills and leads to better habits
    • Transformation requires habit formation
    • You show character and commitment through action
    • You can become the teacher for others in your circle of influence
    • When you instruct by example, it forces you to live by example
      • Demands that you get better at what you’re teaching
      • While we teach we learn and gain a greater understanding when we explain it to someone else.
      • Demands integrity from us that we practice what we preach – practice what you preach, and then practice preaching
      • “Can’t brighten another’s path without first brightening your own”
      • When you’re down, you become the helping hand to someone else and you feel better
  3. Social Support
    • Harness the power of other people – positive people!
    • Your positive social circle can help you win the war and even heal your scars
    • Create your circle – seek them out, build your network, develop a mastermind group
    • You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most
    • As you go through your day, pretend these people are counting on you and watching you – this will help take the eyes off yourself
    • How you use your time and who you spend it with are the most important
    • Remember, you can’t sore with eagles if you keep hanging around turkeys!
  4. Incentive
    • Treat yourself to big victories
    • Celebrate success, feel the full pain of failure
    • Release the power of delayed gratification – delay the good for the great
      • Example of delayed gratification: not going on a trip when you have debt, or want to hold out for a better one
    • Pay first, play second; otherwise you will play first and pay second, but you will pay with interest
    • Delayed gratification is a muscle and essential for success
  5. A Big Deadline
    • Learn to accelerate your progress by reminding yourself of the limited time you have to achieve your goals
    • Realization that we are all running out of time
    • Without big deadlines, we procrastinate. We must have deadlines – harsh, honest, and unforgiving
    • Attach this power to your daily routine – everyone is productive before vacation – most people get done in a day what they could get done in a week
    • Set limits
      • Example: Set limits on your workday – create a “cutoff time.” This challenges you to get done what you need to get done in a certain amount of time.
    • Without deadlines, tasks last longer than needed without proper planning
    • Develop an end date for each goal – a good starting point would be ideally 90 days or less
    • Parkinson’s law: “Work expands so as to fill the time available for it’s completion.”
    • Emotional deadlines: What do you want to achieve while your parents are still alive? What experiences do you want to have while you are still young?

“Every successful person, no matter whether they realize it or not, has put the 5 Pillars of Success to work for them. They Plan and Prepare properly, they have Professional Accountability and Social Support, they have chosen an Incentive to inspire them, and they have given themselves a Big Deadline.”

Craig Ballantyne, Author of The Perfect Day Formula

The Five Levels of Mastery

A jack of all trades is a master of none, so the saying goes. One thing that nobody likes to hear – success takes TIME. Success demands mastery of your skills. Success is a continuous process of growth. The following five levels of mastery will help you understand where you are, and where you need to go to achieve excellence.

Level 1 – Unconscious Incompetence

  • You don’t know how bad you are.
  • Example: You see someone snowboarding at an expert level and think you can do what they’re doing because they made it look easy. To your surprise, you will probably find yourself on your bottom most of the day. Sometimes you see the Level 5, and don’t realize that it takes more than enthusiasm, you need skill.
  • Most people quit at this level once their enthusiasm is gone.
  • This is where you need to follow, DO NOT try to re-invent. Maintaining enthusiasm and a positive attitude is necessary to move to the next step.

Level 2 – Conscious Incompetence

  • The pain of not getting results is bigger than the pain of you adjusting and growing.
  • Look in the mirror and realize that there is a lot of room for growth. This is the stage where you need to proactively seek out guidance, ask a lot of questions!

Level 3 – Conscious Competent

  • At this level you’re becoming better, but you still must think about the steps you are performing.
  • You will be here the longest as you learn a craft.
  • Patience and repetition is key at this level.

Level 4 – Unconscious Competent

  • You start putting in more productivity because muscle memory starts taking over. Your business becomes fun and you know what to do.
  • At this level you’ll start gaining traction and seeing results.
  • Confidence increases because you see your success building.

Level 5 – Unconscious Mastery

  • Confidence in every piece of knowledge of your industry.
  • This is where you start to see 7+ figures of income because it pays to be a master of any industry. At this level, everything you do is for fun because you want to be better, not because you need to be better.
  • This is where you can start to give back.

Questions to Ask Yourself:

What level am I at?
You have to be honest with yourself. Check your ego at the door. If you’re at level 1, remember that this is where EVERYONE starts. Don’t kid yourself! It’s possible to be at different levels with different skills within your industry.

What level do people that I coach reach?
This is important for you to note as you go to level 4 and 5, as to identify the quality of leader you are. Don’t try to coach too early. It will hinder your credibility and you should wait until Level 4.

Just because you are getting results, doesn’t mean you have advanced a level. Sometimes the market can trick you or you are putting more hours in, which can lead you to believe that you are at a higher level of mastery. In reality, there may be several factors that are working out in your favor to help you achieve results, even though you haven’t moved up a level in skill. Also, just because you are not getting results, doesn’t mean you are not progressing your skillset. Don’t let results dictate where you believe you are on that scale.

Keys to Making it to the Next Level:

  • REPETITION of the right skills – don’t repeat bad habits!
  • MENTORSHIP – You can get this from association, business events, reading, etc. Seek out a mentor who can help you grow.
  • BE PATIENT – Remember, success does not come over night. Don’t compare yourself to others, focus on YOUR progress. Everyone’s journey is different.  If you stay focused on your track, you WILL achieve mastery.

Everyone has setbacks no matter where they are in their journey but the difference between those who are successful and those who are not is PERSEVERANCE! Be HUNGRY. Put in the work. DON’T be a jack of all trades and master of none.

Work Hard, Rest Hard

How much time have you already wasted today? Contrary to the majority of self-help philosophies out there, I am here to tell you one of the main reasons we are unproductive during our working hours is because we are not resting during our resting hours. We are always “on.” We don’t truly “unplug” and therefore we can never truly “plug-in.” Sound familiar? Rest is the missing element of work, and the least talked about in this space today.

In the content below, rather than detailing why rest is a critical part of your working rhythm, we are going to explain how to get better rest by identifying areas that promote rest and those that inhibit it. Most of your best rest will be directly linked to the elimination of the inhibitors below. And yes…you can thank us later.

First, here are some simple practices to promote rest:

  1. Disconnect from media, especially social media…give yourself a break from your screen!
  2. Schedule in some much-needed SILENCE. Who knew?! Meditation apps such as “HeadSpace” work wonders.
  3. Set appropriate boundaries – we’ll go into more detail about this one below.
  4. Rest according to your personality. Do you like to be alone or with others to recharge?
  5. Be one with nature! Did you know being outdoors actually has science-backed health benefits?
  6. Take your sleep seriously! Make those hours count! Your room should be like a “sleep chamber” when you are ready to get some serious zzz’s.

Rest Inhibitors and How to Avoid Them:

Distractions
Time wasters – we all know’em…YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, you name it.

Every alert on your phone, every viral video your friends send you, every minute you spend swooning over your friends new baby-in-a-pretty-headband pictures…even though you don’t even want babies yet (or is that just me?)…there are a million distractions in your life. It’s time to get serious, because they are stealing your future.

How to fix it

  • Eliminate Non-Essential Notifications
  • Utilize the “Do Not Disturb” Setting
  • Schedule Time Blocks for People and Activities
  • Put a Limit on Your Social Media or Other Non-Essential App Usage …and stick to it!
  • Delete Non-Essential Apps – Either Temporarily or Permanently
  • Make Time Wasters Difficult to Use…unplug the tv, delete YouTube off your phone, download website blocker plug-ins for your browser, etc.

Artificial Boundaries
Has anyone ever pushed your buttons? What does that even mean anyway? It means, that someone has overstepped your perceived boundaries.

Boundaries are barriers we put up in front of ourselves to guard our time, our energy, our emotions, our physical space – basically, our life. Most people don’t put up boundaries correctly when dealing with other people and too often find themselves overcommitting. Does that sound like you?  A proper boundary is a barrier with the door nob on the inside – so YOU are the one that determines when you open the door and when you close it. An improper boundary looks like a barrier with the door nob on the outside, where certain people can just open that door and walk right through without your permission. Many people react by putting up walls, but the problem with that is no one gets in and no one gets out! Putting up walls is not effective or efficient for growth, even if it provides temporary comfort.

How to fix it:

This could be an entirely separate blog post, but the main premise to become aware of is to know what your boundaries are in every situation. Then you must be aware of which side of the barrier the door handle is on, and ALWAYS make sure you are in control.

For more information on boundaries, check out The Art of Saying No by Damon Zahariades or Boundaries by Henry Cloud.

Procrastination
How much time have you already wasted today? Procrastination comes in many forms – distractions, interruptions, focusing on non-priorities, and so much more. We have all dealt with procrastination in one form or another. What if I told you this was more of a coping mechanism rather than laziness? When we are faced with difficulty, we tend to let procrastination get the best of us.

Procrastination is a snowball.

It pushes our work down the road until we reach a snowball where we are overwhelmed and under-motivated. This is what inhibits rest the most. And that is why it’s a cycle.

When you procrastinate and don’t get your work done during your “work time” you end up having to do work during “rest time.” Your “me” time. It’s time to interrupt this pattern and stop the cycle!

How to fix it:

GET CLARITY. First, become aware that you are procrastinating. Next, ask yourself what you are avoiding and why. Then, ask yourself why you should face it and what would happen if you don’t. Then, TAKE ACTION! Pick one, very small action you can take to tackle your task ahead. This can break the procrastination cycle.

For more tips on how to improve your rest, check out The Perfect Day Formula by Craig Ballantyne.